Katy Perry has released a new Christmas song ‘a cozy little Christmas’ exclusively on Amazon music- once you’ve listened to it, you’ll realise why.
Although the track has all the generic conventions of a good Christmas song, don’t let it fool you. The sweet comfort of Christmas sleigh bells eases you in to 3 more minutes of pure confusion.
The first verse starts by setting up a rather different atmosphere of the holiday, topping it off with poorly forced rhymes.
Everybody’s in a hurry, in a flurry
Shopping ’til they’re droppin’ in the snow
Kids are cryin’, dogs are barkin’
Catching up with folks we barely know
Sure it’s madness, but it’s magic
As soon as you hang up the mistletoe
‘Cause you’re the reason for the season
No, we don’t need to keep up with the Jones
Why are the kids cryin’? Dogs barkin’?
This does not sound like the magic of the season heard of in the Christmas songs held so dearly by the world.
Perry then goes on to explain how she doesn’t need anything for Christmas because all she wants is to spend it with her significant other. (Sound familiar?)
But, when it comes to the bridge she seems to take back everything the song stands for, in perhaps a failed humorous approach.
I don’t need anything
Take back all the Cartier, and the Tiffany’s and the Chanel
Well, can I keep that Chanel? Please?
Never mind the fact that this last line destroyed the whole message the Swish Swish singer was trying to portray; why, out of all the brands mentioned would you want to keep the Chanel?
When you finally hear the outro, a sense of calm washes over you as the overused chant of Falalalala’s reassure you that the ‘song’ is in fact over.