ITV Give another five minutes of fame to failed Love Islanders

In a world where the general public are constantly being told to use their blue bins it seems as if ITV have taken recycling to a new level with their new edition of the dullest show on our tellies – Love Island All stars.

Of course, not everyone agrees that Love Island is total dross, ask any year 9 girl about Gaza and you’re sure to receive nothing but a blank stare but ask about how Anton’s mum waxes his arse hair and suddenly you’ve found an expert. Contestants who left the villa in the first weeks of previous years are again rearing their orange bodies to ‘find love’ or more than likely to secure another dozen teeth whitening deals.

It must be brilliant to be a gormless blonde, or a bone-headed Boohoo man model. Not only do you get an unfathomable amount of press but an insatiable amount of pity once you’re inevitably voted out for going behind another contestant’s back which is especially ironic when each islander has more faces than a dice.

It seems as if ITV have gone into full panic mode as for the last four years they have missed the mark of their 2019 peak so of course bringing back the same people will do the trick. The ex-love islanders can’t of been able to believe their eyes when they saw this announced, imagine having all your brand deals dry up over the years and have to go back to being whichever moronic job they came from with nothing but a certificate congratulating them on their five minutes of fame only to find out they get to do it again!

All in all nothing is likely to change for ITV, Love Island is only going to appeal dim-witted secondary schooler’s who find conversation’s about who is stealing Toby’s man relatable as the UK has simply had enough of brainless conversations about geography that even a nine year-old could correct.

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