Florence Given’s book, Women Don’t Owe You Pretty, urges readers to challenge the outdated narratives supplied to us by the patriarchy. Given encourages everyone to express and be themselves, along with showing people that it’s okay to not fit the ‘norm’. The book delves into explicit and sensitive content and tackles subjects such as feminism, racism, sexuality, and gender. A few of the chapters include trigger/trauma warnings, so we readers can be aware of certain subjects that are being talked about.
Whilst reading, I found myself questioning my own beliefs and behaviours regarding feminism. Judging is an inherent human trait, and after reading Chapter 5 I recognised my tendency to judge other women unconsciously. Given’s assertion that “there is enough room for all of us to be happy” resonated deeply, as I reconsidered my quickness to dislike others based on my friend’s opinions of them, or my first impression of them, or if I think they gave me a ‘funny look’, the list goes on and on. If you are experiencing similar thoughts and feelings, Given encourages us to tell these thoughts that “they don’t belong in your mind or life, because they’re ruining your relationship with other women.”
The moment I reached Chapter 2 of this book, it became clear that it was essential reading. A striking quote from Given, “Life is easier when we reflect society’s idea of beauty” resonated deeply with me and will stay with me for many years. It highlights the reality that women often find life simpler when they conform to societal beauty standards. When they align with these ‘norms,’ they can avoid the anxiety of being judged for their leg hair, clothing choices, or makeup application. Women live in a society where if they aren’t wearing makeup they get told that they are “looking a bit rough”, so the pressure for women to fit into the current category is palpable. This information is what I learnt through reading the first two pages of Chapter 2. Given shares that body hair is unattractive, often viewed through the lens of the male gaze, but instead of meeting the criteria society has made for women, the author encourages us to embrace our choices regarding body hair, urging us to “do what you want with your body hair!”
This book targets readers aged 18 and older, as it contains explicit content, yet it can be beneficial for young teenagers, as it helps self-discovery. I gained so much through this book; with the overall message I took away being that we need to live our life how we want to live it. It encourages us to not waste our time, to be nice to everyone you meet, to refrain from judgment, to explore out sexuality, and to live life to the fullest.