Waiting Well

Waiting is a fundamental element of human life. Yet, as humans, we can find the practice uncertain, problematic, and sometimes anxiety-provoking, whether we are waiting for food to be delivered, results from exams, starting a new chapter in our lives or for an appointment, even devoted optimists show a loss in confidence (1) as the deadline for the end of the waiting period approaches.

As we approach a new academic year, many of us are facing two separate periods of waiting, the first period is waiting for results and confirmation of an unconditional offer in August, and the second period is waiting between mid-August and mid-September to start your new course. While these waits are similar in how we perceive and react to them, we need to manage and cope with each one differently to make the most of our waiting time.

Waiting for results

While we bring our unique selves to the situation of waiting for results, we tend to be similar in our actions to deal with the uncertainty.  The Uncertainty Navigation model (2) explains how humans cope with waiting for results.

Firstly, we need to recognise and acknowledge that anxiety and repetitive thought are part of the process, they are to be expected; we all have moments of doubt as we wait for results, and we all have moments of high optimism.

Secondly, we use many different strategies to try and deal with the cognitive or emotional aspects of waiting and to prepare for dealing with news (good or bad).  People might use consequence mitigation techniques, where they begin to think about what they might do if they have bad news, such as contingency planning for bad outcomes or minimising the consequences of the outcome. We might begin to reevaluate the outcome and its implications during the waiting period, such as bracing ourselves for the news, managing our own and others’ expectations of the outcome, and commencing pre-emptive benefit finding; whether this is finding a benefit of potentially bad news (finding that silver lining!), or reminding ourselves and others of the great benefits of good news.

Thirdly, we might use direct emotion management techniques such as suppression, where we try not to think about our emotions at all (this is never a psychologically good option), and distraction, where we place our attention elsewhere to pause the repetitive thinking.

But do these activities work? One questionnaire-based study (2) suggested mixed results for activities used to reduce the stress of waiting for results: Distraction activities can help reduce stress, but suppression offers no benefits. Cognitive coping mechanisms like preparing for negative outcomes and managing expectations have mixed or sometimes negative effects on anxiety.

Consequently, there are a few recommendations about what we can do whilst we participate in a wait for an unknown result, to increase the likelihood of waiting well:

• Be aware – Identify when those negative thoughts arrive and deal with them and know that a little bit of optimism cannot harm you.
• Distract yourself – Find all-encompassing activities, where you are lost in the moment or the flow of the activity, but remember that when the activity is over, your thoughts will revert to thinking about the outcome. Distraction is great, but not a long-term solution!

Waiting

“A watched pot never boils”, “time flies when you are having fun”

Across the English language, there are a whole series of idioms and sayings which indicate the more attention we pay to time, the slower it seems to go, and many have reported the wellbeing benefits of being in the flow, or involved in activity to the extent of not noticing time go by. But what is the supporting evidence behind these sayings? How do humans experience waiting? And how do we wait well?

The psychology of waiting offers a few interesting comments on the perception of time/waiting, which indicate actions we can take to wait well:

• If we are experiencing uncertain wait lengths, time appears to move more slowly. Therefore, we wait better when we know there is a specified end to the wait, for example: “your food will arrive in 9 minutes”, rather than “Your food is with the delivery rider”, and “You will begin your degree on 23 September” rather than “the course starts in September”.
• Unexplained waits are more difficult to deal with (3). For example, imagine yourself waiting for a train that keeps getting delayed. It can be annoying and provoke irritation, but once we are aware that the train is delayed because there has been an animal on the tracks (this happens in Devon more than we like to think!), then our irritation subsides because there is a reason for the delay / wait.
• Anxiety makes the wait seem longer. Anxiety related to waiting is linked to the desire to get started, it’s about the anticipation, and therefore if we are encouraged to do something linked to the outcome of the wait, our anxiety reduces. Such as being given a menu to read whilst we wait for a restaurant table or being invited to buy popcorn whilst we wait for the film to start. This works because we feel like we are starting the activity. In contrast, being asked to perform an activity not associated with the end outcome increases our anxiety / irritation, like listening to muzak whilst we wait for a call to be answered or standing in a lengthy line waiting for a barrier to open.
• Solo waiting is harder than group waiting. As humans, we like to be in groups, often in queues. You can see non-verbal communication between the queuers or hear conversations start as the wait continues, and whilst these may be negative about the length of the wait or our boredom, the conversations promote group identity where we are waiting together, and once this occurs, boredom reduces and time appears to speed up.

Based on the research, here are a few things you can do while waiting to start university to make the most of the time:

1. Gather Information

Learn about timelines such as move-in dates, induction sessions, and the start of the term.

2. Seek Updates

If you’re waiting for an outcome past the deadline, ask for information to avoid uncertainty. Follow up on emails after 3-5 working days if you haven’t received a reply.

3. Engage in Relevant Activities

Read recommended texts or books, search for related podcasts or YouTube channels, buy necessary supplies, and plan your study time or room layout.

4. Connect with Others

Join social media groups for your course or cohort, contact the course team for recommended preparations, reach out to people you met on applicant day, and start conversations about beginning the course.

Post authored by:
Dr Hazel Bending
Associate Professor & Course Leader, BSc (Hons) Psychology
Plymouth Marjon University

(1) Sweeny, K., & Falkenstein, A. (2015). Is waiting the hardest part? Comparing the emotional experiences of awaiting and receiving bad news. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 41(11), 1551-1559.

(2) Sweeny, K., Reynolds, C. A., Falkenstein, A., Andrews, S. E., & Dooley, M. D. (2016). Two definitions of waiting well. Emotion, 16(1), 129.

(3) Maister, D. H. (1984). The psychology of waiting lines (pp. 71-78). Boston: Harvard Business School.