Castle Gwyrich – get me out of here!

With November just around the corner, and Strictly already begun, it’s only a short hop, skip and a jump away from jungle time. But this year because of Covid, sadly we won’t be heading down under for our annual 3 weeks of the usual jungle antics. This year we’re off to deepest, darkest Wales and the vast 15th Century Gothic Gwyrich (pronounced gooreech – yes it does sound vomit inducing) castle, set in 250 acres of estate – we’ll just conveniently brush over the fact that Wales is currently a nation in lockdown. 

It’s highly doubtful we’ll be seeing any bikini bodies this seriesWith the Welsh winter fast approaching, we’re far more likely to see the campers with the most attractive thermal underwear making the headlines. And quite possibly who can go the longest without enduring freezing shower – or better still which ‘celebrity’ camanage the whole 3 weeks without taking a shower at all?  Then who’s brave enough to park their bunk next to the stinkiest camper? This year will truly be unlike any other we’ve seen over the past 18 years that the show has been gracing our screens. Thanks to Covid. 

The unlikely motley crew rumoured to be signed up for this season’s I’m a Celebrity shenanigans so far, include Mo Farrah our most famous long-distance runner, who’ll probably provide the group with a daily fitness regime, or possibly become camp cook with the obligatory rice and beans. Vernon Kay will keep up the morale of the team with his cheeky chappy charm, and Shane Ritchie will unquestionably be the most annoying celebrity of all time who, fingers and toes crossed, will be kicked out or decide he can’t hack it before we even get the chance to vote him off. There’ll be regular luvvy dahling outburstof song from Ruthie Henshall and Russel Watson to keep us entertained, while pretty boy eye-candy AJ Pritchard dances along. You will probably only have heard of Victoria Derbyshire if you’re over 40 and watch BBC2, so it’ll be the perfect time to go and pop on the kettle when she’s on screen. Then finally a few other stragglers who even less people have heard of – Beverly Callard and Jessica Nobody from soap-land and Hollie Arnold, a Paralympian. 

This still leaves time for a few more contestants to be announced – usually the ones with the biggest slice of the show’s wage bill. Who else could they possibly find more interesting than those already signed up? Hmm I wonder if one of the castle’s ghosts will make a last-minute entry and chase Shane Ritchie off into the welsh hills never to be seen again? Here’s hoping! 

Whatever new and revolting trials are involved in this year’s castle capers; you can guarantee we’ll be glued to our seats with phones at the ready to vote for the wimpiest, most squeamish person to do the trial night after nightAnd after the year Covid 19 has given us, we must get our laughs somehow! 




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